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Merwyn Fae Stormwarden

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Gifts (past lives) [Jun. 6th, 2005|05:15 am]
Merwyn Fae Stormwarden
Mine are in the past. The ability to see into the past- discover past lives. Uncover secrets.

I am very new to embracing and encouraging my gift, but the most interesting thing happened today:

Dawna and I were watching "The Messenger", which I quite enjoyed, and during some part in the beginning my mind lost focus on the movie and went somewhere else. I reflected on Bjorn's affectionate pet-name for me: The Empress. I had my slab of labridorite in my hand, rubbing it on and off with my thumb. Suddenly, an image appeared in my head, and like movies sometimes do, the image was closed in on quickly, revealing a lovely woman: pale, wearing a flowing white gown in the Greek or Roman style. I'm not sure which (I need to research it more). She had dark hair, black or dark brown piled in curls on top of her head. Her eyes were dark ringed in kohl.

The dark eyes made me think of Egypt.

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There were also other snippets I caught, A peacock somewhere near by her side, fat purple grapes being fed to her at one point. She was certainly a woman of leisure.

Later I talked with Bjorn and told him about it. I always appreciate whatever input he can give me on my visions. He hasn't told me anything yet, though I did call him at work and he's running on little sleep and a lot of drama.

So in lieu of waiting for his answers I looked for my own- in my crystal.

This is what I saw:

*Kites flying. One large one, specifically, though there may have been more.

*A triangle made of three points of light, that when I looked at it further- resembled a pyramid in the sun.

To satisfy my curiosity, my need to identify this woman, I decided to see if there were even kites in ancient Egypt. Maybe if there were kites that would be a key that I could focus on and learn more through these clues

In my short research, this is what I found:

"Although the earliest accounts of kite flying seem to center around the Far East and Egypt, kites embarked on a worldwide odyssey following ancient trade routes. In this way they were adopted on virtually every continent, acquiring new forms and mythologies as they entered different cultures." -The Creative Book of Kites by Sarah Kent

"The never-ending questions regarding how the great pyramids were built in Egypt continue. The latest theories involve kites, and recently scientists in fact used a somewhat high tech giant kit to lift several tons of stone. The kite uses pulleys that quadruple its lifting power." -taken from http://egyptmonth.com/mag07012001/mag13.htm

"On a building frieze in a Cairo museum, there is a wing pattern in bas-relief that does not resemble any living bird. Directly below are several men standing near vertical objects that could be ropes."

Kites. Pyramids.

I've never heard of the "Kite Obelisk" project until today- looking it up after I've had my visions. There's no way I would have just... known that. Not from this lifetime at least.

MOON PHASE: NEW
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My First Spell [May. 23rd, 2005|12:00 am]
Merwyn Fae Stormwarden
At this time I was feeling very bogged down with a lot of negative energy. I was hurting over the break up with Dave, and felt a great deal of jealousy toward Dawna and her new boyfriend for their sticky-sweet happiness. I did a little research on the web and found this spell:

Releasing Negativity:

Sit outside at night and attune with your star of power (I chose Orion). Visualize your problem, yourself wallowing in it, and feeding it energy until it is self-sustaining. Hold your arms out before you and cup your hands. Push the visualization down your arms into your hands. Break all connections with it. See your problem and its causes sitting in your hands. Say, "Blazing stars. Fiery stars. What was min, now is yours!" With a strong gesture separate your hands and fling your arms into the sky releasing the negativity to the stars.

Repeat as needed.

I felt much better after completing the spell- for at least a few weeks.
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La Fille De La Mer (The Daughter of the Ocean) [May. 20th, 2005|04:19 pm]
Merwyn Fae Stormwarden
At first I was wary of sharing this experience with anyone, but really, I think I should. I'll just post about all of what happened Tuesday, and hide my little treasure within the story. A couple people I have already told, but I feel the event deserves exposure and fine words.

Tuesday, May 17th 2005 was a beautiful day.

I invited Mom go to my first class of witch school with me, so she could get any questions she may have had answered- have any myths she's heard dispelled. To sweeten the deal I said we should go to the beach as well, because Clearwater is known for it's beautiful beaches, and that just happened to be where my class was going to be held. Much to Mom's surprise I awoke early so we could start our day. By the time we got across the bridge to Clearwater we were starving and started scouting out possible places to nosh. The most promising prospect for our wallets and tummies was Shells, a new one, on the water with a view of the bay. Shells is a chain down here in the south and depending on where you go usually affects your dining experiences. This was the nicest and biggest Shells I have ever been to and the food was beyond amazing. We weren't thrilled about having to go to the beach with full stomachs, but opted to eat first to try and give the rain time to do it's thing (you see, it was raining on the way over).

After only a few minutes of being lost I guided Mom to the beach that Dawna and I had visited a couple weeks prior. I was amazed at how easy it was to find. By the time we got to the beach there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I knew there wouldn't be. Even driving through the rain and seeing the clouds, I knew that there would be none at the beach, today was too special for that. The little spot of beach we go to in Clearwater is somewhat off the beaten track and that is one of the reasons I love it so much. I've only been twice, but each time I have gone the beach has been peaceful without large loud crowds. Tuesday was no exception. Mom was so impressed she considered looking for a beach-house in the area to rent.

When Mom goes to the beach she usually spends most of her time sunning on the sand and watching over the children like a protective seal mother. If the waves are good she'll get in and body surf or just float and let the current take her. Whenever I go to the beach I'll sun for a little bit, but most of my time is spent in the salty and cool embrace of the sea. Being in the ocean is what I go to the beach for. A tan is nice, but secondary on my aqua-agenda.

I talk with the God and Goddess a lot in my head. I ask them to bless and protect me, and look out for my loved ones. I ask for guidance and insight. I thank them for these blessings and pray that I do well to honor them. I don't really pray out-loud, because I really feel there is no need to do so.

Wikipedia defines a religious experience, or sacred experience, as an experience where the believer comes in contact with transcendental reality. Habel defines religious experiences as the structured way in which a believer enters into a relationship with, or gains an awareness of, the sacred within the context of a particular religious tradition (Habel, O'Donoghue and Maddox: 1993).

After sharing some choice herbs with Mom, I left her basking in the rays of the sun and returned back to my watery lover. My senses were alive and finely tuned. I looked down into the shallows and watched tiny fish swim with and against the current. Without my glasses they were a blur of shape and color, but I could make them out well. Before long the water came up to my knees, then my thighs, then my chest, and in no time I was covered to the neck just touching the bottom with my tip-toes. In my mind I thanked the God and Goddess for blessing us with such a beautiful day to enjoy. I let them know how good I have felt and how right everything seemed to be since I have made my choice and set my feet on the Pagan Path.

I closed my eyes and pictured the Goddess, illuminated from behind by the shine of the God. I opened them and looked around, in my mind praying for some sort of sign, some proof that the Goddess and the God where here with me now, and they loved me. I asked for a ray to skirt by, a flying fish to cruise over a wave, or even, most unlikely, a dolphin to leap forth in my line of vision. Within less than a minute, about two feet in front of me a fish jumped up with a splash. The biggest smile came onto my face and I couldn't stop laughing. Not only had Mother Ocean heard me, but let me know she was there! I know what you are thinking what is so out of the ordinary about fish jumping in the ocean? I have visited this beach before and I have never seen fish jumping around. I have barely seen any sea-life at all. When I told Dawna about this, she thought it most peculiar, because she had never seen anything like that out there either. While I was in the water I saw no less than five more fish jump around me. I was humbled and felt so blessed. I felt like this was my initiation. I was (and am) the Sea's chosen and must do what I can to please her. Always stay close to her. My head had still not been wet because I was just floating above the water. I didn't have any goggles, so I wasn't diving beneath the water. In my mind I asked if I should cover my crown with the sea's grace and thus finish this private ceremony. Another fish jumped and I went under, rising up with a great smile and bright glow from within.

The salty brine runs through my veins. I am the Sea's and She loves me.

Witch School went very well. I was surprised that I was the very youngest in the group. I was really expecting folks about my age, but Pagans come in all shapes, all sizes, and all ages. I got to participate in my first circle, which was exciting. We did a group "Om" which was intese, and then did a "grounding" excercise. For grounding we imaged a white ball of light that was floating above us, and then that ball gave a thread which we slowly ran through our body, out our feet, and to the core of the Earth. Once there, the string brings back another of the color gold, from the Earth's core and this we bring up through our feet and up to our heart before sharing it desoil with the rest of the circle. I can't wait until next Tuesday's class, it,s on setting up the alter and consecrating the tools. We can bring in our own, so it will be a little like show-and-tell.
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Shadow on My Soul [May. 5th, 2005|04:14 am]
Merwyn Fae Stormwarden
Strong points -

Big heart. You're going to love someone. Truly madly deeply. You're not going to stop there, though. It's a soul to soul thing for you. You're the mermaid, cursed to roam the seas until someone captures your heart.. and you're the wicked baroness, forever looking for the strapping young lad to end your pain with. Love is a central focus of your mind. You want to love the Goddess.. but in a lot of ways it's just a placebo for what you really want. Something.. Here. Now.

You're going to do something and do it passionately. You're not going to just mull around.. halfassed do something.. it's done or it's not and you want to do it or you don't. Decisive.

Also, you have a branding of chaos on your soul - one of the things that made me love you to begin with. The flightiness of the mermaid shines in you.

You may be soft, you may be gentle, you may be all those things.. but.. you want what you want what you want.

You have the essence of Nyx.. the word 'Nixie' comes from Nyx. Nixie - water sprite. Coincidence? Not really. It's fitting because you have a shadow in your soul, a dark stain.. that goes unfulfilled.

You're delving into religion to find a place because you've tried so hard in the past to have a place with your beloved... but you find yourself out of place with that [arrangement]... if you catch my drift. In other words, you can't allow yourself to be defined by your mate or beloved.

The term 'Nixie' works for you.. though I know there is a better word.

I think [witchcraft] is almost your path, but not quite. There's some manipulation to be done.

So what is my symbol? What do I represent?

I want to tell you. So you know what to do, but I'll have to research sea spell-slingers.

Sea Spell-Slinger. I love it.

I have a lot of good terms, but that's not the absolute one. There are such things as sea witches. Often called Hags, [but for you...] not classic Black Annis, but instead a Siren-like creature. Like the Sea Hag of Popeye except much more mystical.

I've never much liked the term hag.

Nope. Doesn't fit you.

The Sea is a harsh mistress. Playing off of that in my head. You also remind me so much of seals. I remember talking to you about that once.

Having sex for pleasure.

Yes. And resourceful, depending on the species.

Where does your faith manifest most in the Goddess? Meaning, how does it make you relate to others? Do you ever catch a whiff of their thoughts or their feelings? Do you ever feel like you've known someone forever even though you've just met them? Do you sometimes grab the salt before they knock it over?

I usually dont catch a lot off of people. My close friends, however, I can usually read easily. I don't really look for anything in strangers.

You look at people, but you look at them jaded. So you don't trust looking into a stranger's soul much, I presume.

It just doesn't usually interest me.

You're not very close to totems like I am; you don't seem to have a lot of the classic traits of many things i've thought about so far. You do have a hint of the East in your soul, though.

I would say my personal animal totem is the seal.

Selkie fits you best so far. You continually return to the sea if you don't find the right man.

But a selkie never really loves anyone more than the sea. When she finds her skin shes gone, leaving her lover and whatever family she's created behind. I'm not like that.

Selkie.

But doesn't fit perfectly. Damn it, this is kinda difficult.

Thinking of Stormwardens. Because.. sea.. storms.. go hand in hand.

I had originally considred "Seastorm" as my last name, but thought it was far too corny for me.

Stormwarden: term used to describe seafarers that were able to channel the powers of storm and wind into their bodies to save entire crews.. and then they'd retreat sickly into their room after the fact. You seem like a Stormwarden. Because you're kinda stormy yourself, but you channel it. You don't really throw it on [other] people.

I also see shadows every now and then. They look like something darting past out of the corner of my eye and when i turn my head, whatever it was, its gone.

Mmmm....? The dead?

I don't think it's the dead.

Faeries.

Only Faeries do that. You maintain a certain level of childlike innocence, despite your grim and doom.

Merwyn Fae Stormwarden. I really like the sound of it, much better flow.

Stormwardens were assumed to have faerie blood.

It's All Coming Together
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Born Again [Apr. 21st, 2005|10:17 pm]
Merwyn Fae Stormwarden
A question: How many of my LJ friends are Wiccan/pagan?

I've learned a bit about it here and there throughout my life, but now I am very seriously considering the Wiccan path as one of my own. I am looking for support and information. I'm on my own and thristy for knowledge.

The post that was up before was deleted because it contained my chosen pagan name: Merwyn Fae Nyxx with no explanation. Now that I have opened up a little bit more, do you think it fits me? Merwyn was chosen because it is derived from "Merlin", someone I have always looked up to, and sounds very mermaidish. Fae, well that one seems a bit obvious, but most who know me consider me quite whimsical, and fantasy has always played a part in my life; if I choose this path I would like it to follow along as well. Nyxx (I added the extra x to honor Mynxx) was the goddess and is the personification of night; she was one of the most ancient goddesses. Even Zeus was in awe of her, and feared doing anything that would displease her. I feel it represents more of my dark and serious (sometimes brooding) side. Also, Nyx was a daughter of Chaos (and so a sister of Gaia). With her brother Erebus Darkness she bore: Hemera Air, Aether Light, Moros Destiny, Thanatos Death, Hypnos Sleep, Morpheus Dreams, The Fates, The Keres, Eris, Momus Ridicule, Oizys Distress, Apate Deceit, Care, and Nemesis. Her realm was in the far West beyond the land of Atlas. Some legends also link her to the sea.

I'm a sponge ready to soak up knowledge- pour your sugar on me.

Update 05/04/05: pagan name is now and shall remain: Merwyn Fae Stormwarden
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